Keď niekto žije s bipolárnou poruchou, má dni mánie, kedy sa zdá byť všetko skvelé a dni depresie, keď je človek na samom dne. Je ťažké tieto stavy a zážitky opísať slovami. Tak to aspoň cíti Mehri Coulter, ktorá bipolárnu poruchu pozná lepšie, než by chcela. Rozhodla sa, že nájde kreatívny spôsob, ako popísať to, čo sa ukrýva v jej vnútri.
Vytvorila sériu autoportrétov, na ktorých zobrazuje „vzlety“ a „pády“ charakteristické pre spektrum bipolárnej poruchy. Vytvára portréty v pároch. Zobrazuje vzlety vedľa pádov a rôzne príznaky ochorenia, ktoré pociťuje v spojení s bipolárnou poruchou.
Coulterová objasňuje, že fotografie boli inšpirované rokmi pocitu osamelosti v procese striedania období depresie a mánie: „Myslela som si, že som jediný človek na svete, ktorý má tieto neustále meniace sa pocity vynárajúce sa v mysli. Dúfam, že ak niekto iný trpiaci bipolárnou poruchou uvidí tieto obrázky, uvedomí si, že vôbec nie je sám.“
Mehri tvrdí, že fotografie, ktoré zdieľala, si získali medzi ľuďmi omnoho väčší ohlas, než v aký sa vôbec odvážila dúfať. Často vidí komentáre a správy od fanúšikov, ktorí jej píšu, ako veľmi sa s jej fotografiami stotožňujú. Dokonca sa jej ozvali aj z WebMD s ponukou natočiť krátky dokumentárny film o tom, ako bipolárna porucha ovplyvňuje jej manželstvo, akú zohráva rolu a ako jej fotoprojekt vlastne vznikol. Ak vás príbeh Mehri zaujal, dokument si môžete pozrieť aj vy, na tomto odkaze.
Čo by sme si mali z fotografií tejto odvážnej ženy vziať? Mehri vyjadrila nádej, že si ľudia uvedomia, že jej fotografie sú dôkazom toho, že všetci sme jedinečné a krásne stvorenia, bez ohľadu na rozdielnosti v mozgu. Jej portréty si môžete pozrieť nižšie.
Zúrivosť vs. myšlienky na samovraždu
„Keď príde ten pocit nekontrolovateľného hnevu a zúrivosti, je to neznesiteľné. Keď však prídu samovražedné myšlienky, máte pocit, že jediné riešenie je zabiť sa. Je mi však celkom jasné, že to riešenie nie je. Je to veľmi ťažké, je však veľa ľudí, ktorí tieto pocity prežívajú každý deň,“ vyjadrila sa Mehri v dokumente pre WebMD.
Kreativita vs. smútok
Painting, sculpting, singing, writing… whatever your creative outlet is, it is begging to be released to the world. I strongly believe we were created in part to change the world for the better through our various creative gifts. Bipolar is often associated with famous creatives such as Vincent Van Gogh, Demi Lovato, and Carrie Fisher. All of them used/use their creative thinking, which is a hallmark of bipolar, to make huge impacts on our world. This makes the strong argument that bipolar disorder can indeed be a blessing and may not necessarily even be a disorder at all. Without people who think "differently" with dramatic bipolar highs and lows, our world would most certainly be a less colorful and much more boring place to live. My goal is to get back in touch with my creative side. As a little girl I'd spend countless hours simply creating. My mind worked quickly and thrived on the whole creative process. Now, as an adult with responsibilities, my creative moments are fewer and farther between. I intend on changing that! My mind is craving a creative release, badly. If you have bipolar, think about creating something today that didn't exist before you brought it to existence.💚 I'd love to see in the comments below how many of you @so_bipolar followers are artists, and what your creative outlet is! 💚💚💚
Have you ever cried for no reason? What is the longest time you have spent crying? Ten minutes? An hour? Once I cried for a whole week for no reason at all. I literally cried from morning until evening, with nothing I was particularly sad about. I tried tirelessly to figure out if there was an underlying cause for my tears, but could not find one. I was just sad and crying for no reason. Crying for no reason is one symptom/side effect of bipolar depression that makes every day life next to impossible. One particular time I needed to call my bank, and halfway through the minute-long conversation I had to excuse myself because I had burst into tears. I could not stop the flood of tears from falling down my cheeks for even a quick call to my bank! This is thankfully, no longer my norm. That was when my bipolar depression was very, very out of control. Thankfully, I got help. Check out www.SoBipolar.com (link in profile) to read about more symptoms of bipolar disorder. #bipolar #bipolardisorder #bipolar1 #bipolar2 #unashamed #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #depressed #depression #psychology #sad #sadness #cry #crying @bpmagforbipolar @psych_today @themightysite
Coulterová vysvetľuje, že keď príde obdobie kreativity, máte pocit, že váš mozog sa potrebuje vydať na extrémne dlhý beh, v období smútku však len plačete a plačete, zjavne bez príčiny.
Grandiozita vs. beznádej
Picture this. A brand new race car. It is the fasted race car ever built. This race car laps the other race cars with great ease. It wins race, after race, after race, with only a couple crashes. The driver signs up for the most prestigious motor race in the world. The driver knows with great certainty his car will win since it wins every race. Race time arrives, the driver is set, and the race begins. The driver puts the petal to the metal, but nothing happens. His car does not budge. It seems as though this new car has an idiosyncrasy the driver was unaware of. After a dozen races, it has to stay parked in the garage for about three months. After three months it will be the fastest car in the world again. The driver will never know though when the car will be in working-condition. So how in the world is the driver supposed to plan his racing schedule? How many races will he show up to only to be frustrated that his car won't move again? The above analogy is how I explain my depression (low energy) and mania (high energy). Many times I will sign myself up for throwing a party, committing to an activity, or completing a variety of tasks. This is because I've become accustomed to, and crave the manic energy that allows me to easily get these things done more quickly than most everyone else. Then the time will come to throw that party, but all the manic energy is gone and I am left with the body and mind of the race car that won't budge on the race track. It's frustrating because I make grand plans, and then when the time comes, I lose all momentum and energy because my brain decided it needs to stop…. for however long it needs. This is one of many reasons why life with bipolar can be a struggle. I've succumbed to the notion that planning my life cannot happen. Naturally a person who likes to plan things, I've had to learn to let life fall where it may, no matter where all the pieces may fall. Silver lining; this has helped me to live more in the present. Whenever I make plans, in the back of my mind I think, 'I wonder how my brain will be acting that day?' How do you manage 'planning' anything in your life?
Mehri hovorí: „Máte pocit, že dokážete čokoľvek, potom však príde beznádej, pri ktorej sa zdá, že vám na pleciach leží tona tehál. Nedokážete sa ani pohnúť.“
Hypersexualita vs. paranoja
Hypersexuality / destructive behaviors — One side of bipolar disorder that I don't think gets talked about much, am I right?? #bipolardepression #bipolardisorder #bipolar #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mania #manic #manicdepressive #psychology #psychmeds #depression #anxiety #hypersexual #destructivetendencies #destructivebehavior #hypersexuality
Do you ever think that someone has it out for you? Maybe you think that someone is trying to break up your relationship. Perhaps your suspicions are well-founded, but perhaps your distrust is unreasonable and downright delusional. What I am referring to is paranoia, or the exaggerated fear or suspicion of others. Suppose a person with bipolar disorder is admitted to a psychiatric hospital. The patient firmly believes the hospital staff is trying to poison her. She is suspicious of anyone who tells her that she needs medication, because she thinks she is okay. Everyone else is out to get her. She thinks the nurses are gossiping and laughing about her behind her back. She might even think that her room is tapped. The above scenario happens more often than not, I’m sure. It seems to be a theme I have noticed that people with bipolar think they’re okay and everyone is out to ruin their life. It is very difficult to help someone with paranoia because there’s no making sense to someone who doesn’t make sense herself. Do you have bipolar and relate to this? Or have you worked with a loved one who suffered from paranoia? (Follow the blog, www.SoBipolar.com, to read more blog posts like this one, link in bio) #bipolar #bipolar1 #bipolar2 #mentalillness #mentalhealth #unashamed #bipolardisorder #mentalhealthawareness #depression #depressed #paranoid #paranoia #fear #fears #scared #hiding @bell_letstalk @bpmagforbipolar @themightysite
Tieto obdobia popisuje nasledovne: „Počas období hypersexuality máte pocit, že celý svet je sex. Paranoja je naopak sprevádzaná pocitom strachu. Vo všetkom, čo robíte, vždy cítite číhajúcu vinu a výčitky.“